


Momma can you die from a broken heart?

by vanjie_love



Series: One Shots [13]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Sad, Songfic, Why are all my songfics sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:42:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23074171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanjie_love/pseuds/vanjie_love
Summary: Vanessa's heart is shattered, and she doesnt know how she is going to heal, luckily she has a good friend and an amazing mom.//possible tw: toxic relationship
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Series: One Shots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487747
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Momma can you die from a broken heart?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Die from a broken heart by Maddie and Tae

Vanessa was a romantic at heart, but one thing she absolutely hated was how romance was portrayed on tv, and most importantly, how breakups were portrayed. A girl feeling like her life is over because the supposed  _ man of her dreams  _ left her? Only to find another just moments later? No thank you. 

She felt this way all through her teen years, and well into her early twenties. Until Aquaria. 

Aquaria was the girl Vanessa thought she would marry. Aquaria was beautiful, she was  _ sometimes  _ funny, and she was- well she wasn't  _ nice,  _ but she was alright and Vanessa was blinded by love. 

Aquaria started out as the perfect girlfriend. She made Vanessa feel like the prettiest bitch in New York. Things were great until they weren't. At the start of their third year together, Aquaria started acting weird. She didn't laugh at Vanessa's jokes anymore, she would roll her eyes. She didn't compliment her anymore, she would tell Vanessa little things she didn't like.

_ "That eyeshadow doesn't look right." _

_ "That skirt is ugly." _

_ "I don't like it when you wear your hair like that." _

These 'little' comments were enough to make Vanessa feel so small. Aquaria knew it too. 

"Why are you acting like that?" She asked one day. 

"You just said you didn't like my hair."

"I don't like it styled like  _ that." _

_ That  _ meaning up in a high ponytail.

"What if I wore it down and curled then?"

Aquaria thought for a minute, "nah, just leave it up, we don't have time to change it," Aquaria rolled her eyes, "I guess the skirt has to do as well."

And with that, Aquaria was out the door, Vanessa following close behind.

*

Brooke Lynn was a good friend. She stood by Vanessa, watched her make the worst decision of falling in love with Aquaria, and then watching Aquaria chip away at her friend until she was a completely different person. In Vanessa's eyes, it was something that had been going on for just a short time, but to Brooke, an outsider, it was something that started the day Vanessa started dating Aquaria. 

Brooke and Vanessa were close. Brooke knew Vanessa like the back of her hand. She watched her fall in love, watched her change who she was. 

_ "She doesn't love you."  _ Brooke wanted to say.

Brooke saw less and less of Vanessa at times. She wouldn't come around as much for a few months at a time, claiming that Aquaria "needed" her. 

Brooke missed her friend, hated seeing what was being done to her. 

"She doesn't love you." Brooke actually did say one afternoon.

Vanessa had stopped by but had to leave abruptly because Aquaria needed her home. 

"Brooke, how can you say that?" Vanessa was obviously offended.

"Because I can see it, I just know it's the truth."

Vanessa shakes her head, "she loves me, she just has a hard way of showing it sometimes."

Vanessa shrugs, gives her friend a hug, and heads home. 

"I know she doesn't love you," Brooke said quietly, watching the smaller girl get into her car and drive away, "and I know it because I  _ do  _ love you."

She had never said it out loud before, not until now. 

"I love you."

But Vanessa wasn't even there to hear it.

*

Brooke's words stayed with Vanessa. They kept her up that night. She knows Brooke meant no malice, that she just cares about her. She's just a caring friend. 

_ Friend.  _

At one point Vanessa wanted to be more, but was afraid to tell her.

Vanessa thought about all of the things that Aquaria had said recently and realization hit her: her relationship was failing. How did she feel about that? She didn't know. An idea came to her, and she wanted to see it she could get that spark back. 

One evening, Vanessa decided to make a nice dinner for her girlfriend, just the two of them. She loved these little gestures, the little things that say  _ yes I'm still here and I still love you.  _ It's been a while since she got anything like that from Aquaria. Vanessa was always the romancer.

Vanessa finished dinner around six, expecting her girlfriend to be home by then. She lights the candles, fills the wine glasses with a sweet red wine, all she needed was her girl. 

So she waited.

_ 6:15pm _

And waited.

_ 6:45pm _

And waited, until finally at almost 7pm, her girlfriend waltzes in. 

"Sorry I'm late," Aquaria said, sounding bored.

"It's okay," Vanessa put on a smile, trying to hide the hurt.

Aquaria looks from the table to Vanessa in her favorite dress. 

"What's this?" Aquaria raised an eyebrow. 

"I just wanted to have a nice dinner…" Vanessa said quietly. 

"Ugh, not tonight Vanessa. I really can't tonight. I'm just going to eat a few pretzels and go to bed."

Vanessa stood in the kitchen, jaw on the floor. 

"You're joking right? Please tell me you're joking." Vanessa whispers. 

"Look, I had a long day-"

"Yeah so did I, but I still cooked this dinner for us!" Vanessa's voice got louder with each word. 

Aquaria raised an eyebrow, "well fine," she huffed, "if you want dinner then let's have freaking dinner!" Aquaria was clearly agitated. 

Vanessa sat in her chair, fighting tears. This would lead to a fight, she could feel it. They ate in silence, but it was louder than any conversation could be, and Vanessa felt smaller and smaller. As Aquaria reached over to grab the salt shaker, she bumped over Vanessa's glass of wine, pulling it into her lap and on her favorite dress. She stared for a minute, not bothering to apologize. 

"Oops." She said, letting out a small giggle. 

Vanessa's jaw dropped and tears threatened her eyes. 

"Babe, calm down, it's just a dress." Aquaria rolled her eyes, "it was looking a little small on you anyways."

"I actually can't believe you." Vanessa says, "seriously, I can't. This isn't just a dress, it's my favorite dress, and it isn't too small, it's pretty perfect actually."

Aquaria waved her off, "I never liked it." 

Anger bubbled in Vanessa's chest. What was Aquaria's problem? She was being so…. So careless, so insensitive. Did Vanessa's feelings not matter?

"Why are you acting like this?" 

"Acting like what?" Aquaria looked confused. 

"Like a bitch!" Vanessa's voice got louder and louder, the anger becoming too much. 

Aquaria's face got red and her jaw dropped. 

"I can't believe you just said that to me!"

"Well, if the shoe fits!" 

Vanessa and Aquaria had never actually been in a serious fight, but Vanessa could tell this was escalating quickly. 

"Vanessa, it's just a dress, you're overreacting!"

"It's not just about the dress Aquaria! But that really  _ does  _ piss me off because it's my favorite dress! No, it's bout how you've been treating me!"

"I've been treating you just fine, Vanessa, you're being dramatic." Aquaria rolled her eyes. 

She just kept digging her hole. 

"I'm not being dramatic, Aquaria, you're being stupid. Things used to be so good between us! But lately you've been treating me like shit, and I'm tired of it!"

Aquaria stayed silent, and they just looked at each other.

"I love you, Aquaria, and I'm thankful for this life with you, but you can't treat me like this. Things have been rocky for a while and I don't know how much longer I can live like this!"

Still, Aquaria was silent. 

"Do you have anything to say?"

Aquaria crossed her arms, "don't act like you're so innocent, Vanessa."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"All you do is complain, you're clingy and loud, and I'm just- you're so difficult!"

"Unbelievable." Vanessa shook her head, "I fixed this dinner to try to show you my love and this is how you repay me. lf this is how you're going to be, then I'm ending this. I can't do this anymore, and apparently you can't either since I'm  _ so difficult! _ "

Vanessa turns to walk away, surprised she hasn't started really crying yet. It's close though, she can tell. 

"Vanessa, I-" Aquaria's voice was soft. She knew her words hurt Vanessa.

"Aquaria, you've said enough."

"Vanessa."

"Aquaria, leave me alone before this escalates. I think you should leave."

"But I live here!"

"Yeah, so do I, and the lease is in my name!"

Anger flickers in Aquaria's eyes. She gathers some things from the bedroom and leaves, slamming the door behind her and breaking a hinge in the process. 

And Vanessa cries. She blows the candles out, clears the table, and she cries. She doesn't even bother taking her makeup off, nobody is going to see her. 

Vanessa cries herself to sleep in her empty, lonely bed. 

The next morning her white pillowcases are stained with mascara and tears and she wishes she would have taken her makeup off after all. But that's neither here nor there. 

Vanessa gets a shower, hoping that it helps, and is disappointed when it doesn't. She sits in her bed and watches tv, nothing romantic, that side to her doesn't exist right now. 

Vanessa tries to eat lunch, her stomach turning the whole time. She checks her phone, expecting a text from Aquaria, but there's nothing. 

She calls her mom, the one person she knows will help her.

"Mama," she sobs into the phone, "mama, Aquaria and I are done."

Her mother softly comforts her from the other end while she explains what happened, tells her that it's going to be okay.

"She broke the hinge off the screen door," Vanessa says, "and she spilled red wine on my dress."

Vanessa continues on about the things that happened. As she does so, she sends texts to Brooke, telling her as well. 

Brooke Lynn. Her best friend. Her best friend who tried to tell her but she didn't listen. 

"Mama, am I gonna be alright?" Vanessa's voice sounded small, thick with unshed tears. 

"Baby, you are a Mateo," her mom said, "and we are strong."

"I can't believe I let myself love her like this. She was awful to me and I just let it happen. I'm so stupid."

Hearing these words broke her mom's heart, and she quickly hushed her. 

A knock on the front door catches her attention. She tells her mom goodbye, who says promises of sending Vanessa's older brother over to fix the door, and tips for cleaning her dress. 

Standing on the front porch was Brooke Lynn, complete with an overnight bag filled with snacks, movies and clothes. 

"I figured you could use some company." Brooke smiled softly. 

Without thinking, Vanessa threw herself into Brooke's arms, who hugged her back tightly.

Vanessa forgoes the couch, deciding that her bed is where she wants to be. She and Brooke set up the movies and Brooke makes popcorn. Vanessa looks through the movies that her friend brought, smiling when she didn't see a single romcom that they normally walk. Her heart swells with affection for her friend. 

Brooke stays the weekend, and she and Vanessa spend the whole weekend working their way through the pile of movies while lounging in bed. Brooke starts to worry that her friend will never leave her room. She wakes up early on Sunday and Vanessa is still sleeping. 

Vanessa wakes up a few hours later and is confused by the empty space that was supposed to belong to Brooke. She hears Brooke down the hall talking on the phone. Vanessa lays there trying to decide if she should get up or not. She knows she can't stay in bed forever. She does have to go back to work tomorrow.

She decides to get out of bed, maybe she could fix breakfast for Brooke as a thank you. She pads down the hall towards the kitchen and stops in her tracks when she hears Brooke sniffling. Was she crying? 

Who's she talking to?

Vanessa peeks into the kitchen and Brooke is leaning against the island, her back to Vanessa. She didn't want to eavesdrop but Brooke was crying. 

"She's so heartbroken, D." Brooke says.

Detox, her roommate, that's who she's talking to. About Vanessa.

"She's broken over a girl who didn't love her. A girl who treated her like shit, and I'm here and I love her so much, and I know I'd be better than  _ her." _

There's silence as the words sink in. 

_ She loves me?  _ Vanessa asks herself.

"No, D, I can't just tell her! That's such shitty timing! …… yes of course I love her. I just said that!" Brooke sniffles, and Vanessa gasps. 

Brooke jumps and turns around, all of the color leaving her face.

"D, I gotta go- yeah, no I definitely gotta go." Brooke hangs up and looks at her feet, "you weren't supposed to hear that."

Vanessa crosses the kitchen towards the blonde, "is it true though?"

Brooke doesn't answer, she just looks down, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

Vanessa reaches under the taller girls chin, lifting her head so she is looking at her, "Brookie. Is it true? Do you love me? Like  _ really  _ love me?"

She tries to keep the hope out of her voice. The feelings she's had for Brooke, she knows they go way deeper than just friends. 

Brooke nods, and relief floods Vanessa's chest. She smiles and leans forward, closing the space between them.

"Then it's ok if I do this?" Vanessa asks, and then presses a slow kiss to Brooke's lips, who's stunned for a moment but then reciprocates.

"Its so okay," Brooke smiles when they separate, "words cannot express just  _ how  _ okay it is."


End file.
